Surely when you first met your partner you made every effort to look your best for each date or even when you thought you may bump in to her (or him) ?
Remember a time when you were pursuing your partner? Hopefully in a non creepy, stalker kind of way. No doubt being better turned out made you feel more confident in yourself. Fast forward a few months or years even in to your relationship and are things still the same? Do you still take pride in your appearance and want to look good, not just for your partner but for yourself as well?
How many men are actually attracted to frumpy, dowdy, women who have pretty much let themselves go? Very few. I may even be so bold as to say none of us are. Why should we expect women to be any different? They have expectations and standards too, so how can we expect our partners to find us attractive if we let ourselves go to seed?
I remember being in relationships and seeing other attractive, well groomed women walk by and it made me feel utterly depressed about being with someone who no longer made an effort to look good for me and who I was no longer physically attracted to. Then I looked at myself and realised I was no better. Both of us had sleep walked in to the apathy zone.
Surely it is perfectly normal for relationships to go through cycles. The lust phase when you cant leave each other alone, then things calm down a bit and real life sets in. If you are living together or raising a family pressures soon mount up and you have little time for each other. All your energy is taken up fulfilling your obligations and responsibilities. Sadly this is normal for a lot of relationships, it’s all part of adult life in todays fast paced lifestyle.
If you want to save your relationship from slipping in to the apathy zone you both need to take active steps to make sure it doesn’t happen. Far be it for me to give relationship advice to anybody given my track record but if couples are going to have a long lasting and happy relationship that can endure all the stress modern life throws at them then work is required so that both remain attractive to one another. Staying mindful of your appearance is one of the easiest ways to do this. Just putting some effort in to how you look, not just with your clothes but with your body as well will make your partner want to do the same thing too. If both of you do this you are more likely to still find her attractive and she you. So it becomes a cycle that is mutually beneficial to both of you.
Who wants to be seen as the tatty, sloppy half of a relationship? If we have an attractive, stylish partner surely other people are going to notice too and we will want to make sure our partner is not tempted away by someone who looks after themselves better than we do?We want to be proud of our partner and show other guys how well we have done right? At the same time we want to make sure we hold on to her. I hope that this does not sound possessive because I hate that! We also get a little boost to our ego when we catch the eye of other women and have a little flirt. There is nothing wrong with window shopping. “Flirtin ain’t hurting” It is a perfectly natural and healthy thing to do, for both of you.…and its great to know our partner is attractive to other guys, but we are the one who she has chosen to share her life/time with.
Have any of you been in a relationship where one or both of you have let themselves go?
Is it too much to expect to find your partner attractive in years to come?